Marriage Therapy FAQ

Answered By Marriage Therapists

Couples therapy is usually a longer-term experience, whereas marriage counseling can be shorter. Sometimes, couples seek counseling when there is one or two conflicts they want to resolve in a short time. In general, people use both terms interchangeably. Sometimes, couples say they are getting ‘counseling’ because ‘therapy’ has a stigma to it. Therapy also usually involves many hours, weeks, and months delving into the past.

What we do with The Golden Marriage Method™ is a combination of counseling, therapy, coaching, and mentorship.

Depending on the marriage counselor you work with, it usually involves booking an initial session where the counselor does an assessment. Sometimes, you go as individuals, and other times, you go as a couple. After the assessment, you have a follow-up appointment 1 week or 1 month later. In follow-up sessions, you discuss any progress or speedbumps you make. Typically, you spend the bulk of each session discussing what has happened in between sessions, that you don’t get to move forward. Marriage counseling/therapy can be a very slow and long process.

With us, we do a complimentary first session to see where you are at, and to see if we are the right fit. If we both feel aligned, you enroll in the 3-step, 12-week program. Step 1 - RESET. Step 2. RECONNECT. Step 3. RENEW. Every day (M-F), you have a short video to watch and an exercise to do. At the end of every Friday, you submit your homework (independently). You can email, text, and post in our private online group daily for feedback and to ask questions. We do a call once a week with individuals, and a couples call 2x/month.

The most effective form of couples therapy involves a step-by-step program with clearly established goals and timelines. Otherwise, you can end up talking in circles, getting stuck in the past, and not making any real progress. There are different philosophies of therapy, the top two of which are Emotionally-Focused-Therapy and Gottman-therapy. The former focuses on talking and feeling emotions with a secure attachment to your partner, whereas the ladder focuses on creating new ‘love maps’ and being independent of your partner. Our program is a mesh of what we’ve learned from both of our training with these philosophies, as well as what we have found to be successful in our own coaching and clinical practice.

The therapists cannot control what happens in between sessions and cannot make one or both partners do ‘the work’ in solving their problems.
Also, couples therapy sessions don’t often have clearly-defined goals and exercises for the couples to engage in. Without that, they end up talking in circles and rehash old problems, picking at scabs, until everything unravels further. There is too much time in between sessions for things to go awry, and couples can’t learn fast enough how to fix their problems.

This is why we’ve created a program where we deliver bite-sized training videos every day so couples feel empowered and know what they can do at home on their own (almost) every day to heal their marriage (and the family).

If you or your partner is unhappy in your marriage and/or feels it can be way better than it is, you may want to consider help from a marriage expert’s perspective. You may not see the blind spots and patterns that are keeping your marriage in a rut. If you don’t take action now, that dissatisfaction may increase over time, making it more challenging to solve.

You can check out our resources page for a list of questions to ask your marriage counselor before signing up.

Divorce is rarely a seamless process. If it’s bad now, think about the fighting that will happen when you separate. Working on your marriage is hard, but divorce is even harder. Staying the same is also hard. So what can you do?

Take the option where you are always taking steps and putting one foot in front of the other. It’s impossible to stay the same when you’re moving in one direction towards a goal. That’s why The Golden Marriage Method™ is a powerful process for couples who are in crisis. It brings ease, calm, and clarity to an otherwise tumultuous process.

They don’t panick because they wake up every single morning, knowing that they are doing something in favour of the health of their relationship.

Do NOT try to force your partner to do something he or she doesn’t want to do. What you can do is share resources with him/her, and it’ll be up to your partner to decide if they want to explore those options.

When one person has more clarity, confidence and is healthier in the relationship, the marriage will be better. Obviously, the relationship has a better chance of being successful if both people want to work on the marriage. However, the unhappy person should explore getting the help in the marriage because she/he’s the one who’s dissatisfied.

In The Golden Marriage Method™, the first month or two involves doing individual work. We don’t get into the couples session until the individuals make it to the second step of the program.

If you see a local in-state or in-province marriage therapist, you may get covered by your extended health care benefit plan - if you have one.

Health care plans do NOT cover couples therapy programs; they only cover couples therapy sessions. The Golden Marriage Method™ is an intensive program, much like the 12-step program for Alcoholics Anonymous. There is no coverage for programs.

However, if you own your own business, you can write off the program investment as a business expense, as the health of your marriage surely impacts your health, your family, and your business.